Apart from your appearance, one of the things people strongly rely on to make an impression about you is what you say.
When it comes to a first date, the conversation could be the defining factor that determines what the outcome of that date would be.
It would be really awkward if you had to stare at each other clueless of what to say, it becomes an even greater challenge when the person you are on a date with isn’t that much of a chatty person.
But it could be helpful to have a few things at the back of your mind to say, maybe some conversation starters for a first date in reserve could be handy.
Keep it in mind that what you say could make your date smile or laugh and could equally make them hiss or get them upset. Therefore your aim is to capture your dates interest without turning them off instantly.
Therefore using the right words in a conversation with your date is also important.
In this post I’ll share a few conversation starters I use on dates and maybe they could work for you too.
CONVERSATION STARTERS FOR A FIRST DATE WITH SOMEONE
Getting to know them
1. What books do you read? Books are like an adventure for those really passionate about them, and someone enthusiastic enough may love to share this adventure with people. It could really get you and your date talking assuming they like reading. Also, you might have not only found a topic to discuss but a common interest the both of you share.
2. What’s your favorite meal? this not only a great way to bring up a conversation with your date, but it could give you clues on how to surprise them or set up the next date, just to show that you were really paying attention.
3. What do you do apart from work? You would want to get your date to talk about their hobbies, interests and other things that they could be passionate about. It gives you a chance to know each other better.
4. What did you do during the week? You could start by catching up on what had happened to them during that week. It also shows that you are really interested in them.
5. What type of music do you listen to? You can also tell a lot about someone by the type of music they listen to. This would be cool question to ask especially when there’s a song playing. You could also ask them about their favorite artists.
6. Your outfit is nice, are you into fashion? A simple compliment that could set them at ease and make them smile, with a question that could also get them talking about their outfit.
7. Do you own a pet? Pets are a cool topic to bring up on a date, maybe you could also ask if your date is a cat or dog person.
8. What would your dream house be like? You could put forward this question and just chat more about your dreams, aspiration and goals.
9. Do you like sports? Another question that both of you might relate with, you could ask for their favorite sports or favorite sportsmen. Even if you support rival teams, it might not be a bad idea if you politely brag about how your team is better than theirs.
10. Is this your first time here/ Do you come here often? You could start up with this question and ask them what they like about the place.
Deep conversation starters
11. What are your goals? It would be nice to know what your date’s goals are and if they match with yours or are different from you. It could also give you a hint of what they could want from the date, either they are open to taking it further or how fast they want to go.
12. What fun memory did you have growing up? Memories bring up emotions and this is a perfect way to connect with someone on a first date
13. What are you passionate about? It gives an insight into the person and the things they take seriously, and if you find out you are both passionate about the same thing, that could be awesome.
15. Who are your role models? The people they look up to and try to emulate would help you know them better, it may also help you understand the motivation behind some of their goals or the actions they take.
16. If there was something you wanted to improve on, what would it be? This would be a fun question to ask, it could tell you a lot of things about your date, perhaps something about their insecurities, how willing they are to work on themselves, or maybe how much of a perfectionist they are.
17. Do you have any special talents? This would be a fun question to ask to get to know them
18. Is there any skill you would love to learn? This would also give you a chance you know them better.
Flirty conversation starters
19. What immediately turns you off? This would be a great topic to bring up during a date and give you a chance to know what they dislike.
20. Do you believe in love at first sight? A fun and flirty question to ask on a first date, it would let you know what love means to them
21. What do you look for in a partner? It would be an advantage if you knew what they were looking for in someone they would like to be with.
22. What are your most attractive qualities? What your dates think about themselves would also give you a chance to get to know them too.
23. What did you think about me, the first time we met ? I love asking this question, and the enjoy the replies I get which are at times hilarious. It goes to say first impressions could be rather weird.
HOW TO KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING ON A DATE
The next challenge that you may encounter after starting a conversation with your date could be in keeping the conversation going.
At any point during the conversation, the topic being discussed might begin to get boring and your date could begin to lose interest in both the conversation and you.
I’ll share a few tips on how to maintain a conversation on a date, keep it flowing, and perhaps get your date to be more attracted to you.
1. Be polite
You have to be polite but try to avoid coming off as being fake or a yes man just trying to please your date. That could send off a signal that you are desperate and may be a huge turn-off for some.
You should be able to have your own personal opinions on topics being discussed and communicate them as politely as possible, don’t get carried away by being too cocky, and try to be empathetic when it comes to sensitive topics too.
2. Don’t try too hard
You might be tempted to shower your date with compliments when they look good, dress well, etc.
Compliments are awesome, but try not to get creepy with the compliments, it could be quite disturbing.
keep the compliments to an acceptable minimum or else it becomes obsessive and you seem desperate. You do not have to be persuasive or try too hard to impress your date
3. Read the cues at all time
There’s a lot of information being given on a non-verbal level, through tone, by body language and so on.
Their body language or the way they respond to the conversation could be a sign of disinterest, there are other indicators that may point out that they are upset and probably do not want to continue with a particular conversation.
You should be able to work out some of these cues, rethink your strategy and come up with something different if you find out that you are not getting a favorable response from your date.
4. Don’t be tempted to brag
You may be tempted to impress your date by bragging, perhaps tell them something that would make them interested in you if you gloat about how awesome you are.
No one likes a person who brag.
Being cocky could be a bit attractive sometimes, but try not to overdo it
5. Don’t get angry if you still don’t have their attention.
If after you have tried, you find out that the date doesn’t still seem to be going fine. Either they are being distracted by something else or just that the two of you are entirely different people with different interest.
This is something that could get some people upset to the point they could begin to throw tantrums or try too hard to get their dates interested.
Instead, you should give it a try some other time or just accept that it might not work out between the two of you without getting so upset or worked up.