Before getting into a relationship with someone, it might be difficult to tell if it’s the right choice you’re making or not.
No doubt, there a lot of nice guys out there, but there are also others who are up to no good.
They can pretend to be loving and caring one moment,but then change with time.
Therefore, It’ll be wise to take caution, either by asking a few questions before dating a guy, reading between the lines of what he says, and looking for certain signs that would guide you through your decision if he’s asking you out.
This might help to uncover the red flags if any.
In this post, however, I’ll help you with a few questions that you could ask a guy before you go ahead to date him. I’ll also highlight why these questions might be important.
Questions to ask him
Questions to ask a guy To know if he truly loves you
when a guy says he is interested in a girl, at times it could be hard to tell if it’s really love or just lust,
However, you do not want to get caught up in his games or end up as an accessory to him.
It’s not enough for him to say that he likes you and wants to date you. Don’t make that mistake of falling so easily for those words.
You should find out if he is willing to play his role in a relationship. Would he put the effort that’s required or would he go the extra mile for you?
You don’t want to end up dating yourself or be in a relationship with someone who only uses you. You want to be appreciated, paid attention to, and loved.
Here are some questions to ask a guy to know if he truly loves you:
1. Ask him what he finds attractive in a woman
What are the things that get him interested in a woman or draws him to her. And why?
Are his desires driven primarily by lust, dependency, for self-esteem, or the need for something else?
2. Ask him why he likes you
Does he want a deeper connection with you or just craves for something shallow. Does he have an ulterior motive and would he leave once he gets what he wants from you?
Is what he finds attractive in other women the same as what he found attractive in you.
If they changed, why did they?
Does he also see past your flaws or is he settling for less, and is he just going to keep you until someone better comes along?
3. Does he tell his friends about you?
When a guy is interested in a girl, one of the first set of people that’ll know are his friends.
It might not necessarily mean that he is in love with you; it might just show that he’s confident about you and that he’s not ashamed to share the interest he has in you with his friends.
4. Does he tell his family about you?
Being introduced to the family is a big step showing that the relationship is serious.
You don’t have to pressure him into meeting his family; you also don’t have to be direct when asking this question either.
5. If he has thought about getting married in the future
Does he intend to be in a long-term relationship with someone, or is he looking for a fast relationship to have fun and move on?
You should ask yourself if what he wants is what you want too.
6. Ask him a question to see if he pays attention to you
One good way to know how much someone cares is to tell them something personal about you, your favorite meal, or just something significant that they are supposed to remember. Ask him on a later date to see if he does
7. What he expects from a relationship with you
Why does he want to be in a relationship with you,why not remain as good friends?
Is it for Sex, support, companionship, money?
Is it’s something that you are not willing to offer or not?
Questions to ask a guy to get to know him
You also need to have a deeper knowledge of the kind of person he is, it could help you determine how compatible you are for a relationship.
You would want to know what his values are, and also certain attitudes that you may or may not be comfortable with
These series of questions could give you an idea of some of the things you might need to know.
8. What are his personal goals?
There’s something attractive about someone with potentials, you need someone to be able to motivate you, to make you work harder to achieve your own goals in turn.
Regardless of how fun that he may be, it’s unlikely that someone who doesn’t work towards their own personal goals has the incentives to bring out the best in you, and might end up relying entirely on you.
9. What he think his best qualities are?
Ask him to define himself and what he thinks that can offer in a relationship with you, kindness, a caring attitude,these are things that are of value and should be sought for.
10. His role models?
Compare him to his role models, ask him why he wants to be like that particular person, and the input he is putting towards being like that person.
11. Ask what makes him insecure
What makes him insecure, does he get jealous easily. It might affect your relationship if he becomes intimidated by you or if being around your male friends makes him jealous.
12. Does he get angry easily?
You might not want someone who loses their cool easily and is unable to control their anger especially when it comes to you, the relationship may turn to an abusive one if care is not taken. You want someone who is level-headed and tolerant.
13. Ask what upsets him/ his dislikes
Ask him for his dislikes to check if you are cool with it
14. Find out how important honesty is to him
Is he a liar, you want someone who’s honest enough or else your relationship would be built on lies
15. What are his long-term goals
In addition to his personal goals you want to see what he is aiming for in his career, his goals define him.
16. Ask what he is most proud of
What does he value, why does he hold it dear to him, this could as well tell you the kind of person he is.
Question to ask a guy about his ex
Is there someone else he has feelings for? Sometimes you just have to bring up his previous relationship to know.
There are still some issues that could trouble the new relationship. They could come from one of his previous relationships with someone else, or even a current one if you’re not too careful. You have to clear those doubts before you date him.
17. Ask if he has ever been in love
A great question to ask to know what being in love actually means to him.
18. Has he ever cheated in a relationship?
Is this an attitude that you should worry about if you decide to date him, is he a cheat, and would he cheat again if you started a new relationship with him?
19. Why did he break up with his ex
Does he take the blame, does he put it on the ex or share it equally,did he cheat on his ex?
All these questions say something about him.
There might be something that you could find out from asking these questions that would make the difference in your decision with him.
20. Is he still in contact with his ex?
Exes could come back and be the problem in your new relationship. If they are still in contact, what is their current relationship like, is she trying to get back together, should it be something to be bothered about
Signs he might be ready for a relationship
In addition to the responses he gives to the questions you ask before dating him, you could find out more from his character.
His actions might assist you to decide if you want to be with him or not.
For example, some of his lies could be exposed when it comes to backing his desire for a relationship with you through actions.
Also, he might have good intentions for you, but he might not have the proper mindset that shows he’s ready for a relationship.
Here are some signs that you could look out for before dating him, that could tell you if he’s ready to be in a relationship with you or not.
1. He opens up his feeling to you.
It takes courage to open up to someone.
To share the way you feel about certain things to someone, it requires trust for that person.
For him to be willing to open up to you, either by sharing his deeper thoughts with you or his fears as well, while knowing that it could affect the way that you see him. It means that he sees you more than someone to have fun with and more like a confidant.
It could also mean that he values your opinions.
When he talks things out with you politely or is eager to work things out with you, instead of either keeping to himself or reacting out of anger and in a confrontational manner. It could mean that he’s trying to build a relationship.
Communication is essential for relationships to make it work, and if he communicates with you, it may be a sign that he is ready for a relationship.
2. He is over his ex.
An Ex still in the picture may be a problem in your relationship later on.
He should neither bring up his ex in conversations to a disturbing degree nor compare his previous lover to you.
He has to assure you that he is over his exes and ready to move forward.There should be no sign of emotional attachment to any of them.
Even if he is still friends with any of his exes, there has to be no sign that they may be getting back together.
3. His intentions are sincere
You have to be wise and vigilant.
Make sure you find out if he’s up to anything funny when it comes to your relationship. He might be pulling an act only to get something from you.
Watch out from the way he treats others if he’s actually being himself and not pretending.
4. He wants to be exclusive
He’s ready to take it to the next level by being with you alone and not considering other options.
He might want to introduce you to his friends or meet your parents, or even make your relationship known to them.
5. He backs his words with consistent effort
He not only says that he likes you, but he matches it with the things he does. He had never made you feel like he isn’t doing enough or has reduced the attention he pays to you without reason.
He keeps in touch regularly and does everything to show you that he cares.
6. He is ready to compromise
He is willing to make compromises for the sake of a relationship with you.
It doesn’t have to be something big or come at a huge disadvantage to him, but could be smaller actions that show a great deal of thoughtfulness.
That could mean that he’s ready for a relationship with you.
Things to talk about before marriage
Topics to discuss before moving in together
Toxic relationships don’t always start off as being toxic; sometimes they appear as the perfect relationship when they begin
It takes the proper trigger for what seems to be perfect to become toxic, and probably,it might already be too late by that time.
There may be no objective way to know before dating a guy asking you out, if he has good intentions, and it’s not your fault that you can’t read their conscience.
At times you have to trust your instinct, as there might be no way to be completely sure that you are making the right decision before dating a guy who asks you out. However, there are some signs that are objective enough to know that someone does not have your best interest and only wants to take advantage of you.
Therefore before you date a guy that is asking you out, you should look out for indications to see if you are making the right decision and whenever you find out that you are confused, there’s nothing wrong with taking some more time to evaluate the options for your own sake. Don’t be under any pressure to get into any relationship with someone, and understand that you are only doing this to protect yourself.