Flirting can be so confusing at times, especially when we can’t tell if someone actually likes us or if they are just being nice.
It gets even more confusing when a guy strikes a conversation with you, flirts with you one moment, and begins to act indifferent when he’s around you the next moment.
It’s harder to deal with the mixed signals when it’s from someone you are genuinely interested in.
Maybe he holds your hand, hugs you, and tells you sweet things about yourself, he gets you all excited, and then without any explanation, he begins to act cold thereafter.
Perhaps you were already looking forward to your next encounter after getting all the signals that he might be interested in you, but to your disappointment, he backs off and begins to ignore you.
It leaves you questioning every move you made or response that you gave him.
Here are a couple of reasons why a guy might flirt with you and then ignore you.
Why a guy flirts and then Ignores you
1. He has no intention of loving you
Flirting can be fun.
Sometimes it is the attention that comes with flirting we enjoy, it makes us feel good about ourselves, or feel attractive, and that sort of raises our self-esteem
Flirting can also be used to certain other advantages too, it can be used to obtain favors.
Sometimes when a guy flirts with you, he has no intentions of following up with a date plan or a relationship with you. He does this playfully and simply enjoys being able to smooth talk you, or the attention he gets from you in return.
The problem is that flirting could often be misleading, and what seems like a few playful words might give someone the impression that you are genuinely interested in them.
2. He could be Shy
The conversation you had with him might have been impressive, and you liked the compliments he gave you.
You would expect that right after flirting he asks for your number or asks you out on a date.
But breaking the ice isn’t the only tough part of a conversation for many, keeping the conversation going can as well be terrifying, and if you don’t know what to say, the conversation could end right there.
If he’s shy, then his shyness may stop him from keeping the conversation going, and he avoids you simply because he doesn’t know what next to say.
3. He is playing games with you
If he begins to ignore you right after you really felt a connection to him, It could make you really anxious.
You may wonder what you did wrong to push him away or make him lose interest in you all of a sudden.
But this could also be a psychological strategy deliberately used to make you feel this way. The aim may be to make you more attracted to him, and he wants you to chase him.
You might find yourself trying to do extra to get his attention or to impress him if you fall for this.
4. Maybe the conversation didn’t go too well
Perhaps following the conversation, he may have felt that you were not interested in him.
It could have been a joke you didn’t quite get or your intimidating posture, or maybe your cold responses that give him the idea that you were not that interested in him, and he could have easily been discouraged.
You might have unintentionally given off the impression that you didn’t find him attractive enough, or your responses might have been misinterpreted to mean that you are not interested.
If his attempt at flirting with you didn’t go as exactly as he planned or you weren’t able to connect after that encounter, he may be a bit reluctant to reach out again or he may choose to back off and begin to avoid you entirely.
5. He probably lost interest
Finding out he has lost interest can be disappointing especially when you are already becoming fond of him.
He could have changed his mind about you right after meeting you.
Maybe he chooses to back off when he learned that you dated his best friend, or you are close friends with one of his exes.
Another lady might have caught his attention, and he took that same flirty energy over to her.
Sometimes, it could be that he is scared of commitment, or perhaps he is not so certain about his feelings for you, or he doesn’t think you are both perfect for a relationship together.
6. You are reading more meaning to it
It can be difficult to tell whether someone is flirting or not. A lot of times we miss the obvious signs, but then there are times we tend to think there is more to certain gestures than there is.
We often read more meanings into things like a compliment, their body language, or eye contact especially when we have a crush on them.
There are the chances that the guy you think was flirting with you wasn’t flirting but just being nice or playful.
Perhaps he wasn’t being flirty simply because that’s just the way he seems to interacts with everyone.
What to do when he flirts and backs off
1. Do not get angry
Avoid overacting or overthinking about it.
It can be really disappointing, but you do not want to get too emotional and say something that could make you seem a bit too desperate.
Do not fall for his games either or whatever psychological trick he’s trying to play.
If he’s not going to communicate to you, or he begins to act differently all of a sudden, then why bother.
2. Try to communicate politely
If you feel that you have to, perhaps you need some explanation or you just had to clarify any misunderstandings during your earlier encounter, then maybe you could try to start a conversation with him this time and see how he reacts
Be the one to make a move, but don’t go all in, just a brief conversation and observe how he responds.
Try not to confront him or accuse him of playing games early on.
3. Give him some space
If he is still not giving you a good response, then give him some space.
If you decide to pursue him, you might only add to the disappointment. Sometimes, the best thing is just to let him go.
Don’t bother disturbing yourself about why he isn’t giving you a good response, and try not to get anxious.
If you have to, then turn off your phone or try to avoid him for a while.
4. Move on
There are so many right ones out there for you, and he doesn’t have to be one of them.
You have to always tell yourself that even though you are looking for love, you shouldn’t settle for less.
Trust me, if he is going to act this way even without the pressures of being in a relationship with you, then you may have to deal with more of this attitude if you find yourself in a relationship with him, and you do not want that.
You deserve someone who yearns for a connection with you, and not someone who chooses to ignore you.